Little did I know that when I began the Parelli Program I
would lose someone very close to me because of it. Slowly, as the months wore on and I became
further immersed in the Parelli culture, the distance between us
increased. She said she didn’t know me
anymore, didn’t like my day to day choices.
I said I didn’t know her anymore either, I couldn’t understand her
weakness and close minded attitude. When
all was said and done, I didn’t lose her to illness or death or from a move to
another state. I lost her because I
decided to grow and she didn’t. I lost
her because of Parelli. The person that I
lost… was me.
The old me, had she had the guts to bring her horse out in front of Pat at all, would have certainly sweated at the thought of even trying out her best Savvy in front of him, thanked the Lord when it was over, and the thought would have never crossed her mind to try her worst Savvy the next time. Thank goodness the old me and I parted ways, she clearly did not have my best interest in mind.
I’ve had a lot of first experiences this year that have put
me outside of my comfort zone (like really far!) and, at times, I was downright
terrified, fearing for my life. I’ve
been in uncomfortable situations where although my mortality wasn’t on the
line, my self-confidence or my ego was.
I recently wrote a blog called Leadership, Rock Climbing, and Horses in which I talk about a climb that I was very,
very scared to do. In that moment, instead of
quitting, I assured myself that the discomfort I was experiencing was
good for my emotional fitness and that I should keep going. Following that statement, I immediately
credited Parelli for giving me that tool; the ability to have the insight to
know when I was doing something outside of my comfort zone that would ultimately propel me into self-development and personal growth (usually followed by a very
good night’s sleep!). The me that I lost
all those years ago would have never even gone rock climbing. And if she had
decided to go climbing in a moment of madness or confusion, would have
certainly given up in the face of paralyzing fear and lowered herself back
to earth, never to rock climb again.
The me that I lost all those years ago would not have been
brave enough to embrace her role as learner and to seize the opportunity when
it came time to ride in front of Pat Parelli.
She would have doubted her skills, her worthiness to exist with a horse in
front of a horseman of that caliber. She
would have found an excuse not to go, silently regretting it, and wishing she
was a better, braver girl.
The me that I lost all those years ago would have never
gotten back into horses after having a bad accident on a colt where she lost
all confidence and in its place pain and fear grew rampant.
I am sure you can see why I had to let her go, why we went
our separate ways. The old me was only
committed to things that felt safe and weren’t too scary or uncomfortable. The old me didn’t push her personal
boundaries. It’s important you know
though that the old me wasn’t a quitter, because you can’t quit something when
you refuse to even try!
Horses are herd animals and with that comes a natural born
need for an established hierarchy.
Horses are looking for a leader; a horse with a plan that is smarter,
braver, more athletic, and savvier than they are. They vote every day to see which horse has
earned the right to be responsible for the entire herd’s survival and well being. As humans we have it a bit
tougher than that. First, we must prove
that while we are predators, we won’t act like one. Second, we must then earn our horse’s vote
for alpha by showing them our worth to their survival and basic needs of safety,
comfort, and play. I can tell you right
now that the old me was not leadership material. Leaders need to have self-confidence, a plan,
an unwavering belief in what they’re doing and what they’re asking their horse
to do. I had none of those… but as I
journeyed through the Parelli Program, Level by Level, I began to transform.
The greatest gift Parelli has given me has been the ability
to diagnose a situation that I am in, whether with my horse or with other
people. Once you know what’s really
happening you have the power to shape what’s going on, to change things for the
better. As I learned to master the art
of diagnosis I could make faster, more powerful changes for my horse, but I
also gained the insight to realize when something simply wasn’t about me (after
all, one of Parelli’s core values is don’t
take things personal), or that I may be uncomfortable in the short term but
would gain personal growth in the long term.
I began to look at life and start asking questions: Is my horse disrespectful or fearful? Is that person angry at me or upset by something
else? Am I really going to die on this
rock wall or is this a fear that is not actually real? Once you have an understanding of what is
really going on you are in control of your situation.
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| Yes, that's Pat Parelli behind me! / photo: Coco |
Last night, at our employee lesson with Pat, he hosted a
mini Parelli Games event for us. He set
up two courses, Liberty and FreeStyle.
Liberty is my best Savvy with Aspen while FreeStyle is our most
challenging. I regret to say that we
didn’t seize the moment with a “go big or go home!” attitude; we went the safe
route with Liberty. We had a great time,
Aspen was spectacular, and we left feeling very good and happy. But as I sat in bed last night I began to
feel a little disappointed in myself.
Why hadn’t I stepped out of my comfort zone and attempted the FreeStyle
course? What had held me back? Why hadn’t I embraced my role as learner in
that environment and tried something I believed would be a challenge? I regretted letting my worry about my
competency in front of Pat Parelli, fellow instructors, students, and
co-workers get in the way. So rather
than worry about it for a moment longer I decided to make a change!
Because of my diagnostic skills gained from Parelli, as well
as the development of my emotional and mental fitness, I was quickly able to
assess the situation and improve upon it, embracing my experience and deciding
how to make it better for next time. So,
you can count on seeing Aspen and I riding FreeStyle in the Parelli Games the
very next time the opportunity presents itself.
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| Our group with Pat Parelli after we finished the Parelli Games. / photo: Coco |
The old me, had she had the guts to bring her horse out in front of Pat at all, would have certainly sweated at the thought of even trying out her best Savvy in front of him, thanked the Lord when it was over, and the thought would have never crossed her mind to try her worst Savvy the next time. Thank goodness the old me and I parted ways, she clearly did not have my best interest in mind.
So, I credit Parelli with the loss of my old self. The part of me that was afraid to try new things,
afraid to try anything because she feared she might fail. I’m so glad she’s gone and in her place
stands a proactive me that takes ownership for my life story and how it
unfolds. May it be a good one, an
adventurous one, one full of growth and learning!
